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Golf Quotes
Quotes of the Day
He who has the fastest golf cart never has a bad lie.
Missing a short putt does not mean you have to hit your next drive out of bounds
I’m gambling that when we get into the next life, Saint Peter will look at us and ask, “Golfer?” And when we nod, he will step aside and say, “Go right in; you’ve suffered enough.”
Days when you just don’t have it, you don’t pack it in, you give it everything you’ve got. You grind it out.
When you lip out several putts in a row, you should never think that means that you’re putting well. When you’re putting well, the only question is what part of the hole it’s going to fall in, not if it’s going in

funny golf quotes

  • A ball will always come to rest halfway down a hill, unless there is sand or water at the bottom.
    By Henry Beard
    Views: 641

    A ball will always come to rest halfway down a hill, unless there is sand or water at the bottom.

    Tags: beginners, duffers, funny golf quotes, golf, Golf Life, golfingquotes, golfquotes, great golf quotes, shanks, tennis
  • I’m gambling that when we get into the next life, Saint Peter will look at us and ask, “Golfer?” And when we nod, he will step aside and say, “Go right in; you’ve suffered enough.”
    By Jim Murray
    Views: 566

    I’m gambling that when we get into the next life, Saint Peter will look at us and ask, “Golfer?” And when we nod, he will step aside and say, “Go right in; you’ve suffered enough.”

    Tags: funny golf quotes, golf, golfers, golfingquotes, golfquotes, great golf quotes, heaven, st peter, suffer
  • Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula. And it took a seven to do that.
    By Jim Murray
    Views: 567

    Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula. And it took a seven to do that.

    Tags: 1 iron, funny golf quotes, golf, golfingquotes, golfquotes, great golf quotes, one-iron, tarantula
  • Men who would face torture without a word become blasphemous at the short fourteenth. It is clear that the game of golf may well be included in that category of intolerable provocations which may legally excuse or mitigate behaviour not otherwise excusable
    By A P Herbert
    Views: 521

    Men who would face torture without a word become blasphemous at the short fourteenth. It is clear that the game of golf may well be included in that category of intolerable provocations which may legally excuse or mitigate behaviour not otherwise excusable

    Tags: blasphemous, excusable, funny golf quotes, golf, Golf Life, golfingquotes, golfquotes, great golf quotes, provocation, torture
  • According to the Captain of The Honorable Company of Edinburgh Golfers, striking your opponent or caddie at St Andrews, Hoylake or Westward Ho! meant that you lost the hole, except on medal days when it counted as a rub of the green.
    By Herbert Warren Wind
    Views: 646

    According to the Captain of The Honorable Company of Edinburgh Golfers, striking your opponent or caddie at St Andrews, Hoylake or Westward Ho! meant that you lost the hole, except on medal days when it counted as a rub of the green.

    Tags: Caddies, funny golf quotes, golf, Golf Life, golfingquotes, golfquotes, great golf quotes, opponents, rub of the green, st andrews
  • You've just one problem. You stand too close to the ball after you've hit it.
    By Sam Snead
    Views: 703

    You’ve just one problem. You stand too close to the ball after you’ve hit it.

    Tags: funny golf quotes, golf, golf balls, Golf Life, golfingquotes, golfquotes, great golf quotes, problem
  • Then he told me I was playing him and he intended driving to London so that if neither of us turned up he would get a half-point
    By Lee Trevino
    Views: 651

    Sam Torrance offered me a lift to the course in his car. Then he told me I was playing him and he intended driving to London so that if neither of us turned up he would get a half-point.

    Tags: funny golf quotes, golf, golfingquotes, golfquotes, great golf quotes, half-point, lift, London, ryder cup
  • I just hope I don't have to explain all the times I've used His name in vain when I get up there
    By Bob Hope
    Views: 518

    I just hope I don’t have to explain all the times I’ve used His name in vain when I get up there

    Tags: explain, funny golf quotes, God, golf, Golf Life, golfingquotes, golfquotes, great golf quotes, heaven
  • After all, golf is only a game," said Millicent. Women say these things without thinking. It does not mean that there is a kink in their character. They simply don't realise what they are saying
    By P G Wodehouse
    Views: 514

    After all, golf is only a game,” said Millicent. Women say these things without thinking. It does not mean that there is a kink in their character. They simply don’t realise what they are saying

    Tags: funny golf quotes, game of golf, golf, Golf Life, golfingquotes, golfquotes, great golf quotes, kink, millicent
  • I'd like to see the fairways more narrow. Then everybody would have to play from the rough, not just me
    By Seve Ballesteros
    Views: 475

    I’d like to see the fairways more narrow. Then everybody would have to play from the rough, not just me

    Tags: fairways, funny golf quotes, golf, Golf Life, golfingquotes, golfquotes, great golf quotes, rough
Previous345Next
  • Popular
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  • Golf is a matter of confidence. If you think you cannot do it, there is no chance you will
    23 May 2024
  • Why am I using a new putter? Because the last one didn't float too well
    Why am I using a new putter? Because the last one didn’t float too well
    8 September 2022
  • If your Driver is hot, your Putter will be ice cold; If you can hit your Irons, you will top your Woods; If you are keeping your Right Elbow tucked in, your Head will come up.
    9 August 2024
  • GOLF is a science, the study of a lifetime in which you may exhaust yourself but never your subject.
    18 September 2022
  • If your Driver is hot, your Putter will be ice cold; If you can hit your Irons, you will top your Woods; If you are keeping your Right Elbow tucked in, your Head will come up.
    9 August 2024
  • Tyrell Hatton funny golf quote
    With it being harder a lot of guys sort of losing their head, it sort of brings them to my level because I just lose my head every week. They can experience what it’s like in my head for a week.
    16 June 2024
  • If there’s a storm rolling in, you’ll be having the game of your life.
    23 May 2024
  • Golf is a matter of confidence. If you think you cannot do it, there is no chance you will
    23 May 2024

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The Secret of Golf: The Story of Tom Watson and Jack Nicklaus
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A Swing, The: The Alternative Approach to Great Golf
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Golf It's A Funny Old Game The Funniest Quotes About Golf Quotes For Every Oc...
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Golf's Golden Age: Bobby Jones and the Legendary Players of the 20's and 30's
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Popular Quotes

No good player ever swings as hard as he can. Power is a matter of timing , not overpowering the ball
No matter how good you get, you can always get better — and that’s the exciting part.
I’d like to see the fairways more narrow. Then everybody would have to play from the rough, not just me
Every golfer can expect to have four bad shots in a round and when you do, just put them out of your mind. This, of course is hard to do when you’ve had them and you’re not even off the first tee.
You hit a bad shot, you have to get over it right there and then so you can get focused on the next one.
Golf is a game in which you yell ‘fore’, shoot six and write down five.
Sudden success in golf is like the sudden acquisition of wealth. It is apt to unsettle and deteriorate the character.
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