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Golf Quotes
Quotes of the Day
Real golfers don’t cry when they line up their fourth putt
Resolve never to quit, never to give up, no matter what the situation
Talking to a golf ball won’t do you any good, unless you do it while your opponent is teeing off
Winning takes care of everything
Golf… is the infallible test. The man who can go into a patch of rough alone, with the knowledge that only God is watching him, and play his ball where it lies, is the man who will serve you faithfully and well

funny golf quotes

  • We have 51 golf courses in Palm Springs. He [President Ford] never decides which course he will play until after the first tee shot
    By Bob Hope
    Views: 457

    We have 51 golf courses in Palm Springs. He [President Ford] never decides which course he will play until after the first tee shot

    Tags: first tee, funny golf quotes, golf, Golf Life, golfingquotes, golfquotes, great golf quotes, palm springs, president ford
  • You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.
    By Lee Trevino
    Views: 686

    You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.

    Tags: funny golf quotes, golf, golfingquotes, golfquotes, great golf quotes, husbands, money, wives, work
  • The golf ball has no sense at all, which is why it has to be given stern lectures constantly, especially during the act of putting
    By Dan Jenkins
    Views: 438

    The golf ball has no sense at all, which is why it has to be given stern lectures constantly, especially during the act of putting.

    Tags: funny golf quotes, golf, golf ball, Golf Life, golfingquotes, golfquotes, great golf quotes, lectures, no sense, putting
  • By Peter Dobereiner
    Views: 600

    Half of golf is fun. The other half is putting.

    Tags: fun, funny golf quotes, golf, Golf Life, golfingquotes, golfquotes, great golf quotes, putting
  • The hardest shot in golf is a mashie at 90 yards from the green, where the ball has to be played against an oak tree, bounces back into a sandtrap, hits a stone, bounces on the green and then rolls into the cup. That shot is so difficult I have made it only once
    By Zeppo Marx
    Views: 496

    The hardest shot in golf is a mashie at 90 yards from the green, where the ball has to be played against an oak tree, bounces back into a sandtrap, hits a stone, bounces on the green and then rolls into the cup. That shot is so difficult I have made it only once.

    Tags: bad golf, funny golf quotes, golf, Golf Life, golfingquotes, golfquotes, great golf quotes, hardest shot, mashie
  • Playing Augusta is like playing a Salvador Dali landscape. I expected a clock to fall out of the trees and hit me in the face.
    By David Feherty
    Views: 475

    Playing Augusta is like playing a Salvador Dali landscape. I expected a clock to fall out of the trees and hit me in the face.

    Tags: augusta, funny golf quotes, golf, golfingquotes, golfquotes, great golf quotes, masters, salvadore dali
  • The course is so long, I had to take the curvature of the Earth into consideration.
    By David Feherty
    Views: 489

    The course is so long, I had to take the curvature of the Earth into consideration.

    Tags: course length, curvature, funny golf quotes, golf, golfingquotes, golfquotes, great golf quotes, long
  • I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced.
    By Lee Trevino
    Views: 408

    I’m not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they’d come up sliced.

    Tags: bad golf, funny golf quotes, golf, golf game, golfingquotes, golfquotes, great golf quotes, slice, tomatoes
  • There is no movement in the golf swing so difficult that it cannot be made even more difficult by careful study and diligent practice
    By Tom Mulligan
    Views: 439

    There is no movement in the golf swing so difficult that it cannot be made even more difficult by careful study and diligent practice

    Tags: difficult, diligent, funny golf quotes, golf, golf swing, golfingquotes, golfquotes, great golf quotes, practice, study
  • There are two things you can learn by stopping your backswing at the top and checking the position of your hands; how many hands you have, and which one is wearing the glove
    By Tom Mulligan
    Views: 419

    There are two things you can learn by stopping your backswing at the top and checking the position of your hands; how many hands you have, and which one is wearing the glove

    Tags: backswing, funny golf quotes, golf, golf swing, golfingquotes, golfquotes, great golf quotes, hand position
Previous234Next
  • Popular
  • Recent
  • Golf is a matter of confidence. If you think you cannot do it, there is no chance you will
    23 May 2024
  • If your Driver is hot, your Putter will be ice cold; If you can hit your Irons, you will top your Woods; If you are keeping your Right Elbow tucked in, your Head will come up.
    9 August 2024
  • Why am I using a new putter? Because the last one didn't float too well
    Why am I using a new putter? Because the last one didn’t float too well
    8 September 2022
  • You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.
    You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.
    4 October 2022
  • If your Driver is hot, your Putter will be ice cold; If you can hit your Irons, you will top your Woods; If you are keeping your Right Elbow tucked in, your Head will come up.
    9 August 2024
  • Tyrell Hatton funny golf quote
    With it being harder a lot of guys sort of losing their head, it sort of brings them to my level because I just lose my head every week. They can experience what it’s like in my head for a week.
    16 June 2024
  • If there’s a storm rolling in, you’ll be having the game of your life.
    23 May 2024
  • Golf is a matter of confidence. If you think you cannot do it, there is no chance you will
    23 May 2024

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Popular Quotes

The biggest liar in the world is the golfer who claims he plays the game for exercise
Be decisive. A wrong decision is generally less disastrous than indecision.
The course is so long, I had to take the curvature of the Earth into consideration.
A ball will always come to rest halfway down a hill, unless there is sand or water at the bottom.
Never concede the putt that beats you
Your final goal is to convert your athletic swing to pure instinct rather than conscious thought.
The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course.
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