Skip to content

  • Authors
    • A
    • B
    • C
    • D
    • E
    • F
    • G
    • H
    • I
    • J
    • K
    • L
    • M
    • N
    • O
    • P
    • Q
    • R
    • S
    • T
    • U
    • V
    • W
    • X
    • Y
    • Z
    • All Authors
  • Topics
    • Amateurs and Duffers
    • Caddies
    • Celebrities
    • Character and the Mind
    • Cheating
    • Course Design and Places
    • Equipment
    • Famous Golf Courses
    • Famous Last Words
    • Fans
    • Friendly Matches
    • Golf – General Thoughts
    • Golf and Other Sports
    • Hazards
    • Inspirational
    • Majors
    • Match Play
    • Media
    • Men’s Tour
    • Money
    • Nineteenth Hole
    • Philosophy and Advice
    • Practice and Lessons
    • Pressure
    • Putting
    • Real Golfers
    • Rules and Officials
    • Ryder Cup
    • Scoring
    • Seniors
    • The Swing
    • Tour Players – Men
    • Tour Players – Women
    • Winning and Losing
    • Women
    • Woods and Irons
  • Offers
    Latest Price Drops

    Summary of Price Drops for various offers on the Site

    Latest Golf Tips

    Deals on Golf Tips and Instruction

    • Latest Price Drops
    • Latest Golf Tips Offers
  • Tags
  • About
  • Send us a Quote
Golf Quotes
Quotes of the Day
Golf is a game in which you yell ‘fore’, shoot six and write down five.
Playing Augusta is like playing a Salvador Dali landscape. I expected a clock to fall out of the trees and hit me in the face.
It’s much easier to have one swing thought than many
Patience, persistence and perspiration make an unbeatable combination for success.
To give yourself the best possible chance of playing to your potential, you must prepare for every eventuality. That means practice.

funny golf quotes

  • A ball will always come to rest halfway down a hill, unless there is sand or water at the bottom.
    By Henry Beard
    Views: 375

    A ball will always come to rest halfway down a hill, unless there is sand or water at the bottom.

    Tags: beginners, duffers, funny golf quotes, golf, Golf Life, golfingquotes, golfquotes, great golf quotes, shanks, tennis
  • I’m gambling that when we get into the next life, Saint Peter will look at us and ask, “Golfer?” And when we nod, he will step aside and say, “Go right in; you’ve suffered enough.”
    By Jim Murray
    Views: 346

    I’m gambling that when we get into the next life, Saint Peter will look at us and ask, “Golfer?” And when we nod, he will step aside and say, “Go right in; you’ve suffered enough.”

    Tags: funny golf quotes, golf, golfers, golfingquotes, golfquotes, great golf quotes, heaven, st peter, suffer
  • Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula. And it took a seven to do that.
    By Jim Murray
    Views: 334

    Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula. And it took a seven to do that.

    Tags: 1 iron, funny golf quotes, golf, golfingquotes, golfquotes, great golf quotes, one-iron, tarantula
  • Men who would face torture without a word become blasphemous at the short fourteenth. It is clear that the game of golf may well be included in that category of intolerable provocations which may legally excuse or mitigate behaviour not otherwise excusable
    By A P Herbert
    Views: 301

    Men who would face torture without a word become blasphemous at the short fourteenth. It is clear that the game of golf may well be included in that category of intolerable provocations which may legally excuse or mitigate behaviour not otherwise excusable

    Tags: blasphemous, excusable, funny golf quotes, golf, Golf Life, golfingquotes, golfquotes, great golf quotes, provocation, torture
  • According to the Captain of The Honorable Company of Edinburgh Golfers, striking your opponent or caddie at St Andrews, Hoylake or Westward Ho! meant that you lost the hole, except on medal days when it counted as a rub of the green.
    By Herbert Warren Wind
    Views: 365

    According to the Captain of The Honorable Company of Edinburgh Golfers, striking your opponent or caddie at St Andrews, Hoylake or Westward Ho! meant that you lost the hole, except on medal days when it counted as a rub of the green.

    Tags: Caddies, funny golf quotes, golf, Golf Life, golfingquotes, golfquotes, great golf quotes, opponents, rub of the green, st andrews
  • You've just one problem. You stand too close to the ball after you've hit it.
    By Sam Snead
    Views: 395

    You’ve just one problem. You stand too close to the ball after you’ve hit it.

    Tags: funny golf quotes, golf, golf balls, Golf Life, golfingquotes, golfquotes, great golf quotes, problem
  • Then he told me I was playing him and he intended driving to London so that if neither of us turned up he would get a half-point
    By Lee Trevino
    Views: 374

    Sam Torrance offered me a lift to the course in his car. Then he told me I was playing him and he intended driving to London so that if neither of us turned up he would get a half-point.

    Tags: funny golf quotes, golf, golfingquotes, golfquotes, great golf quotes, half-point, lift, London, ryder cup
  • I just hope I don't have to explain all the times I've used His name in vain when I get up there
    By Bob Hope
    Views: 284

    I just hope I don’t have to explain all the times I’ve used His name in vain when I get up there

    Tags: explain, funny golf quotes, God, golf, Golf Life, golfingquotes, golfquotes, great golf quotes, heaven
  • After all, golf is only a game," said Millicent. Women say these things without thinking. It does not mean that there is a kink in their character. They simply don't realise what they are saying
    By P G Wodehouse
    Views: 308

    After all, golf is only a game,” said Millicent. Women say these things without thinking. It does not mean that there is a kink in their character. They simply don’t realise what they are saying

    Tags: funny golf quotes, game of golf, golf, Golf Life, golfingquotes, golfquotes, great golf quotes, kink, millicent
  • I'd like to see the fairways more narrow. Then everybody would have to play from the rough, not just me
    By Seve Ballesteros
    Views: 291

    I’d like to see the fairways more narrow. Then everybody would have to play from the rough, not just me

    Tags: fairways, funny golf quotes, golf, Golf Life, golfingquotes, golfquotes, great golf quotes, rough
Previous345Next
  • Popular
  • Recent
  • Golf is a matter of confidence. If you think you cannot do it, there is no chance you will
    23 May 2024
  • Why am I using a new putter? Because the last one didn't float too well
    Why am I using a new putter? Because the last one didn’t float too well
    8 September 2022
  • Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle.
    9 July 2021
  • If your Driver is hot, your Putter will be ice cold; If you can hit your Irons, you will top your Woods; If you are keeping your Right Elbow tucked in, your Head will come up.
    9 August 2024
  • If your Driver is hot, your Putter will be ice cold; If you can hit your Irons, you will top your Woods; If you are keeping your Right Elbow tucked in, your Head will come up.
    9 August 2024
  • With it being harder a lot of guys sort of losing their head, it sort of brings them to my level because I just lose my head every week. They can experience what it’s like in my head for a week.
    16 June 2024
  • If there’s a storm rolling in, you’ll be having the game of your life.
    23 May 2024
  • Golf is a matter of confidence. If you think you cannot do it, there is no chance you will
    23 May 2024

Latest Price Drops

1
A Feel for the Game: A Golfing Life
Amazon.co.uk
A Feel for the Game: A Golfing Life
99%
OFF
£377.26
£5.07 ▼£372.19
2
Gary Player: To Be The Best
Amazon.co.uk
Gary Player: To Be The Best
96%
OFF
£88.23
£3.68 ▼£84.55
3
St Andrews: The Home of Golf
Amazon.co.uk
St Andrews: The Home of Golf
93%
OFF
▼ 64.31
4
Roaring Back: The Fall and Rise of Tiger Woods
Amazon.co.uk
Roaring Back: The Fall and Rise of Tiger Woods
82%
OFF
£19.95
£3.70 ▼£16.25
5
Hope: Entertainer of the Century
Amazon.co.uk
Hope: Entertainer of the Century
82%
OFF
£20.02
£3.80 ▼£16.22

Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Thank you for your message. It has been sent.
There was an error trying to send your message. Please try again later.

Popular Quotes

If you are a bad putter, you will not make a putt. If you have a tendency to chili-dip wedges, you’ll be chili-dipping them all over the place for sure. Whatever your weakness, it will come up in spades during the Ryder Cup.
I have a tip that can take 5 strokes off anyone’s golf game. It’s called an eraser.
The game has such a hold on golfers because they compete not only against an opponent, but also against the course, against par, and most surely, against themselves.
I just hope I don’t have to explain all the times I’ve used His name in vain when I get up there
Grip the club as if you were holding a baby bird
To find a man’s true character, play golf with him
Confidence is the most important single factor in this game, and no matter how great your natural talent, there is only one way to obtain and sustain it: work
  • Sitemap
  • Tag Cloud
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Privacy Policy
  • Affiliate Disclosure
  • Send us your favourite Quote
  • payless4GOLF
  • payless4CBD

© 2022 – Golfquotes.co.uk – Please do not rely on the accuracy of any data on this site in making critical decisions. It should be up to date and accurate, but gremlins can (and no doubt will) creep in from time to time.

Page load link
This website uses cookies and third party services. OK
Go to Top