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Golf Quotes
Quotes of the Day
I’m gambling that when we get into the next life, Saint Peter will look at us and ask, “Golfer?” And when we nod, he will step aside and say, “Go right in; you’ve suffered enough.”
Resolve never to quit, never to give up, no matter what the situation
If you watch a game, it’s fun. If you play at it, it’s recreation. If you work at it, it’s golf.
Sudden success in golf is like the sudden acquisition of wealth. It is apt to unsettle and deteriorate the character.
The stages of golf are Sudden Collapse – Radical Change – Complete Frustration – Slow Improvement – Brief Mastery – Sudden Collapse

funny golf quotes

  • A ball will always come to rest halfway down a hill, unless there is sand or water at the bottom.
    By Henry Beard
    Views: 146

    A ball will always come to rest halfway down a hill, unless there is sand or water at the bottom.

    Tags: beginners, duffers, funny golf quotes, golf, Golf Life, golfingquotes, golfquotes, great golf quotes, shanks, tennis
  • I’m gambling that when we get into the next life, Saint Peter will look at us and ask, “Golfer?” And when we nod, he will step aside and say, “Go right in; you’ve suffered enough.”
    By Jim Murray
    Views: 141

    I’m gambling that when we get into the next life, Saint Peter will look at us and ask, “Golfer?” And when we nod, he will step aside and say, “Go right in; you’ve suffered enough.”

    Tags: funny golf quotes, golf, golfers, golfingquotes, golfquotes, great golf quotes, heaven, st peter, suffer
  • Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula. And it took a seven to do that.
    By Jim Murray
    Views: 134

    Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula. And it took a seven to do that.

    Tags: 1 iron, funny golf quotes, golf, golfingquotes, golfquotes, great golf quotes, one-iron, tarantula
  • Men who would face torture without a word become blasphemous at the short fourteenth. It is clear that the game of golf may well be included in that category of intolerable provocations which may legally excuse or mitigate behaviour not otherwise excusable
    By A P Herbert
    Views: 125

    Men who would face torture without a word become blasphemous at the short fourteenth. It is clear that the game of golf may well be included in that category of intolerable provocations which may legally excuse or mitigate behaviour not otherwise excusable

    Tags: blasphemous, excusable, funny golf quotes, golf, Golf Life, golfingquotes, golfquotes, great golf quotes, provocation, torture
  • According to the Captain of The Honorable Company of Edinburgh Golfers, striking your opponent or caddie at St Andrews, Hoylake or Westward Ho! meant that you lost the hole, except on medal days when it counted as a rub of the green.
    By Herbert Warren Wind
    Views: 127

    According to the Captain of The Honorable Company of Edinburgh Golfers, striking your opponent or caddie at St Andrews, Hoylake or Westward Ho! meant that you lost the hole, except on medal days when it counted as a rub of the green.

    Tags: Caddies, funny golf quotes, golf, Golf Life, golfingquotes, golfquotes, great golf quotes, opponents, rub of the green, st andrews
  • You've just one problem. You stand too close to the ball after you've hit it.
    By Sam Snead
    Views: 165

    You’ve just one problem. You stand too close to the ball after you’ve hit it.

    Tags: funny golf quotes, golf, golf balls, Golf Life, golfingquotes, golfquotes, great golf quotes, problem
  • Then he told me I was playing him and he intended driving to London so that if neither of us turned up he would get a half-point
    By Lee Trevino
    Views: 143

    Sam Torrance offered me a lift to the course in his car. Then he told me I was playing him and he intended driving to London so that if neither of us turned up he would get a half-point.

    Tags: funny golf quotes, golf, golfingquotes, golfquotes, great golf quotes, half-point, lift, London, ryder cup
  • I just hope I don't have to explain all the times I've used His name in vain when I get up there
    By Bob Hope
    Views: 114

    I just hope I don’t have to explain all the times I’ve used His name in vain when I get up there

    Tags: explain, funny golf quotes, God, golf, Golf Life, golfingquotes, golfquotes, great golf quotes, heaven
  • After all, golf is only a game," said Millicent. Women say these things without thinking. It does not mean that there is a kink in their character. They simply don't realise what they are saying
    By P G Wodehouse
    Views: 132

    After all, golf is only a game,” said Millicent. Women say these things without thinking. It does not mean that there is a kink in their character. They simply don’t realise what they are saying

    Tags: funny golf quotes, game of golf, golf, Golf Life, golfingquotes, golfquotes, great golf quotes, kink, millicent
  • I'd like to see the fairways more narrow. Then everybody would have to play from the rough, not just me
    By Seve Ballesteros
    Views: 131

    I’d like to see the fairways more narrow. Then everybody would have to play from the rough, not just me

    Tags: fairways, funny golf quotes, golf, Golf Life, golfingquotes, golfquotes, great golf quotes, rough
Previous345Next
  • Popular
  • Recent
  • Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle.
    9 July 2021
  • Why am I using a new putter? Because the last one didn't float too well
    Why am I using a new putter? Because the last one didn’t float too well
    8 September 2022
  • A golfer has to train his swing on the practice tee, then trust it on the course
    A golfer has to train his swing on the practice tee, then trust it on the course
    26 July 2022
  • Golf is a thinking man's game. You can have all the shots in the bag, but if you don't know what to do with them, you've got troubles
    Golf is a thinking man’s game. You can have all the shots in the bag, but if you don’t know what to do with them, you’ve got troubles.
    1 August 2022
  • If your Driver is hot, your Putter will be ice cold; If you can hit your Irons, you will top your Woods; If you are keeping your Right Elbow tucked in, your Head will come up.
    9 August 2024
  • With it being harder a lot of guys sort of losing their head, it sort of brings them to my level because I just lose my head every week. They can experience what it’s like in my head for a week.
    16 June 2024
  • If there’s a storm rolling in, you’ll be having the game of your life.
    23 May 2024
  • Golf is a matter of confidence. If you think you cannot do it, there is no chance you will
    23 May 2024

Latest Price Drops

1
The Uncorrupted Pleasure Of An Old Bladed Putter: A collection of golfing fables
Amazon.co.uk
The Uncorrupted Pleasure Of An Old Bladed Putter: A collection of golfing fables
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OFF
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£2.27 ▼£12.68
2
A Nasty Bit of Rough
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A Nasty Bit of Rough
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3
Ben Hogan's Five Lessons: The Modern Fundamentals of Golf
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Ben Hogan's Five Lessons: The Modern Fundamentals of Golf
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OFF
£30.58
£8.93 ▼£21.65
4
Arnold Palmer: Memories, Stories, and Memorabilia from a Life on and off the Course
Amazon.co.uk
Arnold Palmer: Memories, Stories, and Memorabilia from a Life on and off the Course
69%
OFF
£41.09
£12.99 ▼£28.10
5
The Second Life of Tiger Woods
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The Second Life of Tiger Woods
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£14.56
£4.94 ▼£9.62

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Popular Quotes

I get to play golf for a living. What more can you ask for, getting paid for doing what you love.
There are two things you can learn by stopping your backswing at the top and checking the position of your hands; how many hands you have, and which one is wearing the glove
It’s much easier to have one swing thought than many
The stages of golf are Sudden Collapse – Radical Change – Complete Frustration – Slow Improvement – Brief Mastery – Sudden Collapse
They say golf is like life, but don’t believe them. Golf is more complicated than that.
I don’t fear death, but I sure don’t like those three-footers for par
If there’s a storm rolling in, you’ll be having the game of your life.
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