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Golf Quotes
Quotes of the Day
Golf is a game that is played on a five-inch course – the distance between your ears.
Cypress Point is such a beautiful place, but it’s also very exclusive. They had a very successful membership drive last month. They drove out forty members.
You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.
Nobody ever remembers who finished second at anything
You’re only here for a short visit. Don’t hurry, don’t worry. And be sure to smell the flowers along the way.

funny golf quotes

  • If you are going to throw a club, it is important to throw it ahead of you, down the fairway, so you don’t have to waste energy going back to pick it up
    By Tommy Bolt
    Views: 539

    If you are going to throw a club, it is important to throw it ahead of you, down the fairway, so you don’t have to waste energy going back to pick it up

    Tags: anger, energy, funny golf quotes, golf, golfingquotes, golfquotes, great golf quotes, throwing clubs
  • I have a tip that can take 5 strokes off anyone's golf game. It's called an eraser.
    By Arnold Palmer
    Views: 519

    I have a tip that can take 5 strokes off anyone’s golf game. It’s called an eraser.

    Tags: cheating, eraser, funny golf quotes, golf, golfingquotes, golfquotes, great golf quotes, scoring
  • There’s no such thing as bad weather, only inappropriate clothing!
    By Anonymous
    Views: 567

    There’s no such thing as bad weather, only inappropriate clothing!

    Tags: bad weather, clothing, funny golf quotes, golf, Golf Life, golfingquotes, golfquotes, great golf quotes, rain
  • Whoever said “Practice makes perfect” obviously never played golf
    By Anonymous
    Views: 434

    Whoever said “Practice makes perfect” obviously never played golf

    Tags: funny golf quotes, golf, Golf Life, golfingquotes, golfquotes, great golf quotes, perfect, practice
  • They were real golfers, for real golf is a thing of the spirit, not of mere mechanical excellence of stroke
    By P G Wodehouse
    Views: 476

    They were real golfers, for real golf is a thing of the spirit, not of mere mechanical excellence of stroke

    Tags: excellence, funny golf quotes, golf, golfers, golfingquotes, golfquotes, great golf quotes, real, spirit
  • When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit
    By Anonymous
    Views: 515

    When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit

    Tags: funny golf quotes, golf, golf course, Golf Life, golfingquotes, golfquotes, great golf quotes, husband, praying, visit
  • Golf?! You hit down to make the ball go up. You swing left and the ball goes right. The lowest score wins. And, the winner buys the drinks.
    By Anonymous
    Views: 431

    Golf?! You hit down to make the ball go up. You swing left and the ball goes right. The lowest score wins. And, the winner buys the drinks.

    Tags: buy drinks, funny golf quotes, golf, Golf Life, golfingquotes, golfquotes, great golf quotes, lowest score, slice
  • I wish I could play my normal game...just once
    By Anonymous
    Views: 532

    I wish I could play my normal game…just once

    Tags: funny golf quotes, golf, Golf Life, golfingquotes, golfquotes, great golf quotes, miracles, normal game, praying, tragedies
  • If you drink, don’t drive. Don’t even putt
    By Dean Martin
    Views: 488

    If you drink, don’t drive. Don’t even putt

    Tags: drinking, driving, funny golf quotes, golf, golfingquotes, golfquotes, great golf quotes, putting
  • I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators
    By Gerald Ford
    Views: 539

    I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators

    Tags: better, funny golf quotes, golf, golfingquotes, golfquotes, great golf quotes, improving, spectators
Previous789Next
  • Popular
  • Recent
  • Golf is a matter of confidence. If you think you cannot do it, there is no chance you will
    23 May 2024
  • If your Driver is hot, your Putter will be ice cold; If you can hit your Irons, you will top your Woods; If you are keeping your Right Elbow tucked in, your Head will come up.
    9 August 2024
  • Why am I using a new putter? Because the last one didn't float too well
    Why am I using a new putter? Because the last one didn’t float too well
    8 September 2022
  • GOLF is a science, the study of a lifetime in which you may exhaust yourself but never your subject.
    18 September 2022
  • If your Driver is hot, your Putter will be ice cold; If you can hit your Irons, you will top your Woods; If you are keeping your Right Elbow tucked in, your Head will come up.
    9 August 2024
  • Tyrell Hatton funny golf quote
    With it being harder a lot of guys sort of losing their head, it sort of brings them to my level because I just lose my head every week. They can experience what it’s like in my head for a week.
    16 June 2024
  • If there’s a storm rolling in, you’ll be having the game of your life.
    23 May 2024
  • Golf is a matter of confidence. If you think you cannot do it, there is no chance you will
    23 May 2024

Latest Price Drops

1
The Secret of Golf: The Story of Tom Watson and Jack Nicklaus
Amazon.co.uk
The Secret of Golf: The Story of Tom Watson and Jack Nicklaus
86%
OFF
£13.48
£1.94 ▼£11.54
2
Bobby Jones on Golf: The Classic Instructional by Golf's Greatest Legend
Amazon.co.uk
Bobby Jones on Golf: The Classic Instructional by Golf's Greatest Legend
56%
OFF
£8.99
£3.99 ▼£5.00
3
Golf Psychology - When Positive Thinking Doesn'T Work the New
eBay
Golf Psychology - When Positive Thinking Doesn'T Work the New
5%
OFF
£14.22
£13.57 ▼£0.65
4
Golf It's A Funny Old Game The Funniest Quotes About Golf Quotes For Every Oc...
eBay
Golf It's A Funny Old Game The Funniest Quotes About Golf Quotes For Every Oc...
5%
OFF
£9.92
£9.47 ▼£0.45
5
Arnold Palmer: Homespun Stories of The King
Amazon.co.uk
Arnold Palmer: Homespun Stories of The King
2%
OFF
£8.20
£8.06 ▼£0.14

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Popular Quotes

A bad attitude is worse than a bad swing
The reason the Road Hole at St. Andrews is the most difficult par 4 in the world is that it was designed as a par 6.
The golf ball has no sense at all, which is why it has to be given stern lectures constantly, especially during the act of putting.
Timing is everything in life and in golf.
On the Old Course at St. Andrews: This is the origin of the game, golf in its purest form, and it’s still played that way on a course seemingly untouched by time.
I wish I could play my normal game…just once
If you want to increase your success rate, double your failure rate
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