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Golf Quotes
Quotes of the Day
You know you’re on the Senior Tour when your back goes out more than you do
The trees taunt you; the sand mocks you; the water calls your name… and they say golf is a quiet game
Sam Torrance offered me a lift to the course in his car. Then he told me I was playing him and he intended driving to London so that if neither of us turned up he would get a half-point.
Golf is more fun than walking naked in a strange place, but not much.
As all souls are equal before their Maker, a two inch putt counts the same as a 250 yard drive. There is a comedy in this and a certain unfairness even, which makes golf an even apter mirror of reality

Celebrities

  • Cypress Point is such a beautiful place, but it's also very exclusive. They had a very successful membership drive last month. They drove out forty members.
    By Bob Hope
    Views: 525

    Cypress Point is such a beautiful place, but it’s also very exclusive. They had a very successful membership drive last month. They drove out forty members.

    Tags: cypress point, funny golf quotes, golf, Golf Life, golfingquotes, golfquotes, great golf quotes, members, membership
  • We have 51 golf courses in Palm Springs. He [President Ford] never decides which course he will play until after the first tee shot
    By Bob Hope
    Views: 454

    We have 51 golf courses in Palm Springs. He [President Ford] never decides which course he will play until after the first tee shot

    Tags: first tee, funny golf quotes, golf, Golf Life, golfingquotes, golfquotes, great golf quotes, palm springs, president ford
  • The hardest shot in golf is a mashie at 90 yards from the green, where the ball has to be played against an oak tree, bounces back into a sandtrap, hits a stone, bounces on the green and then rolls into the cup. That shot is so difficult I have made it only once
    By Zeppo Marx
    Views: 492

    The hardest shot in golf is a mashie at 90 yards from the green, where the ball has to be played against an oak tree, bounces back into a sandtrap, hits a stone, bounces on the green and then rolls into the cup. That shot is so difficult I have made it only once.

    Tags: bad golf, funny golf quotes, golf, Golf Life, golfingquotes, golfquotes, great golf quotes, hardest shot, mashie
  • I just hope I don't have to explain all the times I've used His name in vain when I get up there
    By Bob Hope
    Views: 412

    I just hope I don’t have to explain all the times I’ve used His name in vain when I get up there

    Tags: explain, funny golf quotes, God, golf, Golf Life, golfingquotes, golfquotes, great golf quotes, heaven
  • I would like to deny all allegations by Bob Hope that during my last game of golf, I hit an eagle, a birdie, an elk and a moose.
    By Gerald Ford
    Views: 480

    I would like to deny all allegations by Bob Hope that during my last game of golf, I hit an eagle, a birdie, an elk and a moose.

    Tags: allegations, eagle, elk, funny golf quotes, golf, golfingquotes, golfquotes, great golf quotes, moose
  • He who has the fastest golf cart never has a bad lie.“
    By Mickey Mantle
    Views: 437

    He who has the fastest golf cart never has a bad lie.

    Tags: bad lie, cheating, funny golf quotes, golf, golf cart, Golf Life, golfingquotes, golfquotes, great golf quotes
  • That was a great game of golf, fellers
    By Bing Crosby
    Views: 515

    That was a great game of golf, fellers

    Tags: fellers, friends, game of golf, golf, Golf Life, golfingquotes, golfquotes, great golf quotes
  • If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball
    By Jack Lemmon
    Views: 450

    If you think it’s hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball

    Tags: friends, funny golf quotes, golf, Golf Life, golfingquotes, golfquotes, great golf quotes, new people, wrong golf ball
  • How has retirement affected my golf game? A lot more people beat me now
    By Dwight Eisenhower
    Views: 455

    How has retirement affected my golf game? A lot more people beat me now

    Tags: funny golf quotes, golf, Golf Life, golfingquotes, golfquotes, great golf quotes, retirement, winning
  • If you drink, don’t drive. Don’t even putt
    By Dean Martin
    Views: 456

    If you drink, don’t drive. Don’t even putt

    Tags: drinking, driving, funny golf quotes, golf, golfingquotes, golfquotes, great golf quotes, putting
12Next
  • Popular
  • Recent
  • Golf is a matter of confidence. If you think you cannot do it, there is no chance you will
    23 May 2024
  • If your Driver is hot, your Putter will be ice cold; If you can hit your Irons, you will top your Woods; If you are keeping your Right Elbow tucked in, your Head will come up.
    9 August 2024
  • Why am I using a new putter? Because the last one didn't float too well
    Why am I using a new putter? Because the last one didn’t float too well
    8 September 2022
  • You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.
    You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.
    4 October 2022
  • If your Driver is hot, your Putter will be ice cold; If you can hit your Irons, you will top your Woods; If you are keeping your Right Elbow tucked in, your Head will come up.
    9 August 2024
  • Tyrell Hatton funny golf quote
    With it being harder a lot of guys sort of losing their head, it sort of brings them to my level because I just lose my head every week. They can experience what it’s like in my head for a week.
    16 June 2024
  • If there’s a storm rolling in, you’ll be having the game of your life.
    23 May 2024
  • Golf is a matter of confidence. If you think you cannot do it, there is no chance you will
    23 May 2024

Latest Price Drops

1
The Best of Harvey Penick
Amazon.co.uk
The Best of Harvey Penick
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OFF
£610.99
£3.67 ▼£607.32
2
Gary Player: To Be The Best
Amazon.co.uk
Gary Player: To Be The Best
97%
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£99.24
£3.69 ▼£95.55
3
Thanks for the Game: The Best of Golf with Henry Cotton
Amazon.co.uk
Thanks for the Game: The Best of Golf with Henry Cotton
97%
OFF
£126.99
£4.98 ▼£122.01
4
The Naked Mind of Buddy Hackett.
Amazon.co.uk
The Naked Mind of Buddy Hackett.
93%
OFF
£705.05
£54.50 ▼£650.55
5
Caddie in the Golden Age: My Years with Walter Hagen and Henry Cotton
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Caddie in the Golden Age: My Years with Walter Hagen and Henry Cotton
81%
OFF
£71.34
£14.15 ▼£57.19

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Popular Quotes

But in the end it’s still a game of golf, and if at the end of the day you can’t shake hands with your opponents and still be friends, then you’ve missed the point
The best advice I can give for playing a ball out of water is – don’t.
A well hit golf shot is a feeling that goes up the shaft, right through your hands and into your heart.
When you play by the rules, defy mental demons, overcome every challenge, and enjoy a walk in the country at the same time – that’s being alive.
Tempo is the glue that sticks all elements of the golf swing together
I’m not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they’d come up sliced.
For this game you need, above all things, to be in a tranquil frame of mind
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