Skip to content

  • Authors
    • A
    • B
    • C
    • D
    • E
    • F
    • G
    • H
    • I
    • J
    • K
    • L
    • M
    • N
    • O
    • P
    • Q
    • R
    • S
    • T
    • U
    • V
    • W
    • X
    • Y
    • Z
    • All Authors
  • Topics
    • Amateurs and Duffers
    • Caddies
    • Celebrities
    • Character and the Mind
    • Cheating
    • Course Design and Places
    • Equipment
    • Famous Golf Courses
    • Famous Last Words
    • Fans
    • Friendly Matches
    • Golf – General Thoughts
    • Golf and Other Sports
    • Hazards
    • Inspirational
    • Majors
    • Match Play
    • Media
    • Men’s Tour
    • Money
    • Nineteenth Hole
    • Philosophy and Advice
    • Practice and Lessons
    • Pressure
    • Putting
    • Real Golfers
    • Rules and Officials
    • Ryder Cup
    • Scoring
    • Seniors
    • The Swing
    • Tour Players – Men
    • Tour Players – Women
    • Winning and Losing
    • Women
    • Woods and Irons
  • Offers
    Latest Price Drops

    Summary of Price Drops for various offers on the Site

    Latest Golf Tips

    Deals on Golf Tips and Instruction

    • Latest Price Drops
    • Latest Golf Tips Offers
  • Tags
  • About
  • Send us a Quote
Golf Quotes
Quotes of the Day
Men who would face torture without a word become blasphemous at the short fourteenth. It is clear that the game of golf may well be included in that category of intolerable provocations which may legally excuse or mitigate behaviour not otherwise excusable
I have a tip that can take 5 strokes off anyone’s golf game. It’s called an eraser.
Golf is the only game I know of that actually gets harder the longer you play it
When you’re playing poorly, you start thinking too much. That’s when you confuse yourself
Golf like measles should be caught young

funny golf quotes

  • By Anonymous
    Views: 293

    If your Driver is hot, your Putter will be ice cold; If you can hit your Irons, you will top your Woods; If you are keeping your Right Elbow tucked in, your Head will come up.

    Tags: driver, funny golf quotes, golf, Golf Life, golfingquotes, golfquotes, great golf quotes, putter, Right Elbow
  • By Tyrell Hatton
    Views: 236

    With it being harder a lot of guys sort of losing their head, it sort of brings them to my level because I just lose my head every week. They can experience what it’s like in my head for a week.

    Tags: anger, funny golf quotes, golf, Golf Life, golfingquotes, golfquotes, great golf quotes, lose my head, Pinehurst2
  • By Anonymous
    Views: 200

    If there’s a storm rolling in, you’ll be having the game of your life.

    Tags: funny golf quotes, game of your life, golf, Golf Life, golfingquotes, golfquotes, great golf quotes, miracles, praying, Storm
  • By Anonymous
    Views: 264

    Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he must subsequently make two triple bogeys to restore the fundamental equilibrium of the universe

    Tags: birdies, equilibrium, funny golf quotes, golf, Golf Life, golfingquotes, golfquotes, great golf quotes, triple bogey, universe
  • By Anonymous
    Views: 215

    Real Golfers go to work to relax

    Tags: funny golf quotes, golf, Golf Life, golfingquotes, golfquotes, great golf quotes, miss putts, real golfers, robbed
  • By John Updike
    Views: 285

    As all souls are equal before their Maker, a two inch putt counts the same as a 250 yard drive. There is a comedy in this and a certain unfairness even, which makes golf an even apter mirror of reality

    Tags: all souls, fairness, funny golf quotes, golf, Golf Life, golfingquotes, golfquotes, great golf quotes, not fair, two inch putt
  • By Anonymous
    Views: 229

    The stages of golf are Sudden Collapse – Radical Change – Complete Frustration – Slow Improvement – Brief Mastery – Sudden Collapse

    Tags: Frustration, funny golf quotes, golf, Golf Life, golfingquotes, golfquotes, great golf quotes, Mastery, Radical Change, sudden collapse
  • By Bruce Lansky
    Views: 281

    Talking to a golf ball won’t do you any good, unless you do it while your opponent is teeing off

    Tags: funny golf quotes, game of golf, golf, Golf Life, golfingquotes, golfquotes, great golf quotes, opponents, talk to golf ball
  • By Bob Bruce
    Views: 267

    You know you’re on the Senior Tour when your back goes out more than you do

    Tags: bad back, funny golf quotes, Getting Older, golf, golfingquotes, golfquotes, great golf quotes
  • By Bob Bruce
    Views: 210

    What’s nice about our tour is you can’t remember your bad shots

    Tags: bad shots, can't remember, funny golf quotes, Getting Older, golf, golfingquotes, golfquotes, great golf quotes
12Next
  • Popular
  • Recent
  • Why am I using a new putter? Because the last one didn't float too well
    Why am I using a new putter? Because the last one didn’t float too well
    8 September 2022
  • Golf is a matter of confidence. If you think you cannot do it, there is no chance you will
    23 May 2024
  • Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle.
    9 July 2021
  • Golf is about how well you accept, respond to, and score with your misses much more so than it is a game of your perfect shots
    7 July 2021
  • If your Driver is hot, your Putter will be ice cold; If you can hit your Irons, you will top your Woods; If you are keeping your Right Elbow tucked in, your Head will come up.
    9 August 2024
  • With it being harder a lot of guys sort of losing their head, it sort of brings them to my level because I just lose my head every week. They can experience what it’s like in my head for a week.
    16 June 2024
  • If there’s a storm rolling in, you’ll be having the game of your life.
    23 May 2024
  • Golf is a matter of confidence. If you think you cannot do it, there is no chance you will
    23 May 2024

Latest Price Drops

1
Following Through: Writings on Golf
Amazon.co.uk
Following Through: Writings on Golf
92%
OFF
£152.99
£12.73 ▼£140.26
2
Arnold Palmer: Homespun Stories of The King
Amazon.co.uk
Arnold Palmer: Homespun Stories of The King
85%
OFF
£24.15
£3.78 ▼£20.37
3
Roaring Back: The Fall and Rise of Tiger Woods
Amazon.co.uk
Roaring Back: The Fall and Rise of Tiger Woods
80%
OFF
£19.42
£3.97 ▼£15.45
4
At Ease : Stories I Tell to Friends [By] Dwight D. Eisenhower
Amazon.co.uk
At Ease : Stories I Tell to Friends [By] Dwight D. Eisenhower
78%
OFF
£53.95
£12.20 ▼£41.75
5
A Swing for Life: How to Play the Faldo Way
Amazon.co.uk
A Swing for Life: How to Play the Faldo Way
76%
OFF
£15.11
£3.69 ▼£11.42

Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Thank you for your message. It has been sent.
There was an error trying to send your message. Please try again later.

Popular Quotes

Don’t just play your way around the course. Think your way around way around the course
Real Golfers go to work to relax
I’d like to see the fairways more narrow. Then everybody would have to play from the rough, not just me
Golf is a matter of confidence. If you think you cannot do it, there is no chance you will
There’s no sense in going to a tournament if you don’t believe that you can win it
Happiness is a long walk with a putter
I play golf with friends sometimes, but there are never friendly games
  • Sitemap
  • Tag Cloud
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Privacy Policy
  • Affiliate Disclosure
  • Send us your favourite Quote
  • payless4GOLF
  • payless4CBD

© 2022 – Golfquotes.co.uk – Please do not rely on the accuracy of any data on this site in making critical decisions. It should be up to date and accurate, but gremlins can (and no doubt will) creep in from time to time.

Page load link
This website uses cookies and third party services. OK
Go to Top