Skip to content

  • Authors
    • A
    • B
    • C
    • D
    • E
    • F
    • G
    • H
    • I
    • J
    • K
    • L
    • M
    • N
    • O
    • P
    • Q
    • R
    • S
    • T
    • U
    • V
    • W
    • X
    • Y
    • Z
    • All Authors
  • Topics
    • Amateurs and Duffers
    • Caddies
    • Celebrities
    • Character and the Mind
    • Cheating
    • Course Design and Places
    • Equipment
    • Famous Golf Courses
    • Famous Last Words
    • Fans
    • Friendly Matches
    • Golf – General Thoughts
    • Golf and Other Sports
    • Hazards
    • Inspirational
    • Majors
    • Match Play
    • Media
    • Men’s Tour
    • Money
    • Nineteenth Hole
    • Philosophy and Advice
    • Practice and Lessons
    • Pressure
    • Putting
    • Real Golfers
    • Rules and Officials
    • Ryder Cup
    • Scoring
    • Seniors
    • The Swing
    • Tour Players – Men
    • Tour Players – Women
    • Winning and Losing
    • Women
    • Woods and Irons
  • Offers
    Latest Price Drops

    Summary of Price Drops for various offers on the Site

    Latest Golf Tips

    Deals on Golf Tips and Instruction

    • Latest Price Drops
    • Latest Golf Tips Offers
  • Tags
  • About
  • Send us a Quote
Golf Quotes
Quotes of the Day
We have 51 golf courses in Palm Springs. He [President Ford] never decides which course he will play until after the first tee shot
The average golfer’s problem is not so much the lack of ability as it is lack of knowledge about what he should be doing
Bad putting is due more to the effect the green has upon the player than it has upon the action of the ball.
Why am I using a new putter? Because the last one didn’t float too well
Sam Torrance offered me a lift to the course in his car. Then he told me I was playing him and he intended driving to London so that if neither of us turned up he would get a half-point.

funny golf quotes

  • By Anonymous
    Views: 818

    If your Driver is hot, your Putter will be ice cold; If you can hit your Irons, you will top your Woods; If you are keeping your Right Elbow tucked in, your Head will come up.

    Tags: driver, funny golf quotes, golf, Golf Life, golfingquotes, golfquotes, great golf quotes, putter, Right Elbow
  • Tyrell Hatton funny golf quote
    By Tyrell Hatton
    Views: 583

    With it being harder a lot of guys sort of losing their head, it sort of brings them to my level because I just lose my head every week. They can experience what it’s like in my head for a week.

    Tags: anger, funny golf quotes, golf, Golf Life, golfingquotes, golfquotes, great golf quotes, lose my head, Pinehurst2
  • By Anonymous
    Views: 405

    If there’s a storm rolling in, you’ll be having the game of your life.

    Tags: funny golf quotes, game of your life, golf, Golf Life, golfingquotes, golfquotes, great golf quotes, miracles, praying, Storm
  • By Anonymous
    Views: 559

    Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he must subsequently make two triple bogeys to restore the fundamental equilibrium of the universe

    Tags: birdies, equilibrium, funny golf quotes, golf, Golf Life, golfingquotes, golfquotes, great golf quotes, triple bogey, universe
  • By Anonymous
    Views: 458

    Real Golfers go to work to relax

    Tags: funny golf quotes, golf, Golf Life, golfingquotes, golfquotes, great golf quotes, miss putts, real golfers, robbed
  • By John Updike
    Views: 547

    As all souls are equal before their Maker, a two inch putt counts the same as a 250 yard drive. There is a comedy in this and a certain unfairness even, which makes golf an even apter mirror of reality

    Tags: all souls, fairness, funny golf quotes, golf, Golf Life, golfingquotes, golfquotes, great golf quotes, not fair, two inch putt
  • By Anonymous
    Views: 480

    The stages of golf are Sudden Collapse – Radical Change – Complete Frustration – Slow Improvement – Brief Mastery – Sudden Collapse

    Tags: Frustration, funny golf quotes, golf, Golf Life, golfingquotes, golfquotes, great golf quotes, Mastery, Radical Change, sudden collapse
  • By Bruce Lansky
    Views: 621

    Talking to a golf ball won’t do you any good, unless you do it while your opponent is teeing off

    Tags: funny golf quotes, game of golf, golf, Golf Life, golfingquotes, golfquotes, great golf quotes, opponents, talk to golf ball
  • By Bob Bruce
    Views: 517

    You know you’re on the Senior Tour when your back goes out more than you do

    Tags: bad back, funny golf quotes, Getting Older, golf, golfingquotes, golfquotes, great golf quotes
  • By Bob Bruce
    Views: 408

    What’s nice about our tour is you can’t remember your bad shots

    Tags: bad shots, can't remember, funny golf quotes, Getting Older, golf, golfingquotes, golfquotes, great golf quotes
12Next
  • Popular
  • Recent
  • Golf is a matter of confidence. If you think you cannot do it, there is no chance you will
    23 May 2024
  • If your Driver is hot, your Putter will be ice cold; If you can hit your Irons, you will top your Woods; If you are keeping your Right Elbow tucked in, your Head will come up.
    9 August 2024
  • Why am I using a new putter? Because the last one didn't float too well
    Why am I using a new putter? Because the last one didn’t float too well
    8 September 2022
  • You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.
    You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.
    4 October 2022
  • If your Driver is hot, your Putter will be ice cold; If you can hit your Irons, you will top your Woods; If you are keeping your Right Elbow tucked in, your Head will come up.
    9 August 2024
  • Tyrell Hatton funny golf quote
    With it being harder a lot of guys sort of losing their head, it sort of brings them to my level because I just lose my head every week. They can experience what it’s like in my head for a week.
    16 June 2024
  • If there’s a storm rolling in, you’ll be having the game of your life.
    23 May 2024
  • Golf is a matter of confidence. If you think you cannot do it, there is no chance you will
    23 May 2024

Latest Price Drops

1
The Best of Harvey Penick
Amazon.co.uk
The Best of Harvey Penick
100%
OFF
£610.99
£3.67 ▼£607.32
2
Gary Player: To Be The Best
Amazon.co.uk
Gary Player: To Be The Best
97%
OFF
£99.24
£3.69 ▼£95.55
3
Thanks for the Game: The Best of Golf with Henry Cotton
Amazon.co.uk
Thanks for the Game: The Best of Golf with Henry Cotton
97%
OFF
£126.99
£4.98 ▼£122.01
4
Byron Nelson's Winning Golf
Amazon.co.uk
Byron Nelson's Winning Golf
87%
OFF
£179.97
£23.43 ▼£156.54
5
The Secret of Golf: The Story of Tom Watson and Jack Nicklaus
Amazon.co.uk
The Secret of Golf: The Story of Tom Watson and Jack Nicklaus
86%
OFF
£13.48
£1.96 ▼£11.52

Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Thank you for your message. It has been sent.
There was an error trying to send your message. Please try again later.

Popular Quotes

The older I get, the better I used to be
I look into eyes, shake their hand, pat their back, and wish them luck, but I am thinking, I am going to bury you
To find a man’s true character, play golf with him
On the Old Course at St. Andrews: This is the origin of the game, golf in its purest form, and it’s still played that way on a course seemingly untouched by time.
Golf is the one game I know which becomes more and more difficult the longer one plays it
There are no shortcuts on the quest for perfection
Playing Augusta is like playing a Salvador Dali landscape. I expected a clock to fall out of the trees and hit me in the face.
  • Sitemap
  • Tag Cloud
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Privacy Policy
  • Affiliate Disclosure
  • Send us your favourite Quote
  • payless4GOLF
  • payless4CBD

© 2022 – Golfquotes.co.uk – Please do not rely on the accuracy of any data on this site in making critical decisions. It should be up to date and accurate, but gremlins can (and no doubt will) creep in from time to time.

Page load link
This website uses cookies and third party services. OK
Go to Top